Shutting Up Gave Me More Power
So let’s just get this out there in the open - I talk a lot lol. I speak my mind, I never hold my tongue, I’m bold with my opinion and my beliefs, and I will never sit still and not say what’s on my heart. On the flip side of that, I like to debate. I like to get the last word out. I like to prove a point. Mainly the point is I’m right and they’re wrong lol. And sometimes, I get emotional (well a lot of times) and when I’m trying to express how I feel, I don’t always think before I speak. Simply because I’m so emotional and overwhelmed with my emotions, I have to get it all out.
So - if this is you, similar to you or you know somebody like this - then you’ll enjoy this read.
Now that we are a little more comfortable with each other - I can be more honest.
So I use to tell God my plans, my will and what I expect from him because I’m a detailed oriented person that writes to-do list for every day and for my life. And because of that, when
things didn’t go the way I wanted them to go, I would try to take matters into my own hands by being inpatient and controlling.
For example, I use to think I could “change people” haha funny right? I know. So I would pray a long hard prayer “Lord, change this person. Fix this person. Make this person to be x,y, and z. This person has issues, so help them Lord”. I was giving God a whole blueprint. (Ya know they say if you wanna make God laugh, then tell him your plans and honey I bet God was up there rolling at me). So anyways, when I saw no changes were being made, I would go to different people (out of love, so I thought) just telling them about themselves. Reading them from head to toe. I would always go too far or say too much or hit below the belt.
Pause. Although I had good intentions, I was lacking wisdom, knowledge and understanding. I still struggle but it was bad back then.
Cont. then after I ran my mouth, things would explode and be worse. Now I’ve placed myself in a worse situation than I was before.
I would cry to God confused trying to understand why me, why he couldn’t just answer my prayer. And I heard a preacher say “you talk too much. Sometimes you have to shut up and listen to what God is saying. Let him take control”. That was a hard pill to swallow because it’s hard for me to loosen the reigns and give complete control to anyone. But I tried it. When things would happen that would typically provoke me to “pop off”, I would just shut up. Over time, I felt peace because I wasn’t working myself up with emotions, I wasn’t getting angry from debating with anyone - I felt peace because I let it go.
Even now in my life, I let things go. I use to think “girl, you aren’t strong for shutting up. You’re showing people you’re weak”. But in actuality, I always come out victorious when I shut up. What my situation in the past and my present situation now have in common, every time I shut up, people would stop and wonder because I was doing the unexpected. It made them uncomfortable to see me not being the first to speak up, so they examined themselves and always came to me with what I needed to hear.
So yes, I’m more powerful when I shut up, give it to God and let him work. Not saying that I will allow anything and everything and not say anything about it. I will always be bold with my words, but I will allow God to lead me every time. I may slip up here and there because I’m human. But as long as you remember who’s in control and how to shut up - things will work in your favor.
P.S. if you’re a timid person who’s always quiet and needs to speak up more and you know God is telling you to do that, then do it! We may be on two different ends of the spectrum but the same message still applies.