Re-birth. [Happy Birthday to ME]
On Saturday, September 3, 1994 around 3:00pm in the afternoon, my lovely mother gave birth to this wonderful, beautiful, intelligent young baby girl named Jasmine Nichole Tucker. Funny thing is, my name was almost Kimberly, but God said not so (thanks Jesus)! So every year on this lovely day, I get the honor to celebrate another year of life with family and friends.
This year is quite special though - I am 25. Wow. I am a quarter of a century! Can't you believe that? I can't! I feel like I have accomplished so much thus far. I graduated high school, learned how to drive, attended the best college ever, got a degree, landed many internships, jobs, honor, and recognition, served many leadership roles, got accepted into graduate school, purchased my own car, fell in love, got hurt, lost friends, made friends, etc. The list goes on. I feel good about what I have done. But, sometimes, I get weary about what I have yet to accomplish. I am not married, I have no kids, I still have student loans, my credit score is not at a 750 (close though) like I want it to be, I weigh entirely too much, my hair is growing out and not down, I still live at home with my parents, I spend too much time taking care of others that I forget to take care of myself. If I wanted to, the list can go on and on forever, but I choose to stop here because why dwell on what's bad when God has blessed me with too much?
If we put more energy into our accomplishments more than we do our failures, our optimistic outlook towards life will flourish beyond our imagination.
I am known for self-affirmations, but I am also a worrier. Just like I listed my accomplishments and what I deem to be failures, I tend to worry about what is not here yet. I learned that my worries and doubts negated by prayers. The moment I realized that, the moment I turned my "I can't" into "I can"; my "I'm not sure" to "I know I can"; my "maybe I am not good enough" to "I am more than what they say I am". I am declaring positivity, growth, prosperity and favor over my life. I am tired of thinking about what I don't have when God has done so much for me.
Re-birth; the action of reappearing or starting to flourish or increase after a decline.
This year has been a tough year, but a blessed one. I experienced anxiety in a way I have never experienced anxiety before. I felt depression sneaking up on me. I gained weight in a way I did not expect. I almost lost my grandpa. My brother moved away. My sister had a stroke at the age of 23. My uncle/cousin past away, and I didn't even get to say good-bye. My best-friend was diagnosed with bell's palsy. I lost a woman that is like my aunt to me on today....my birthday. The church went through some ups and downs. All of these things have taken a toll on my mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. I was looking at these encounters as natural and spiritual attacks on my life because I did not understand what God was doing. I did not understand why God was causing me to endure these things; causing my family and friends to go through what they went through; I just did not understand. I tried to have faith. I tried to pray. I tried to cry. But after so many issues, I became numb and felt the decline. I felt the shift. I felt the pain. Good news is...it was only for a moment. I felt lonely but only for a moment. I felt misunderstood but only for a moment. I felt unheard but only for a moment.
2 Corinthians 4:17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory
My decline. My pain. My tears. My misunderstandings. My frustrations. My anxiety. My depression. My faith struggle. My family's, friend's, and church family's affliction. Everything was just for a moment.
So I declare a re-birth. Not just over my life, but over my family's life,my friend's life, my church's life, and even over my job's life. I am re-birthing purpose. I am re-birthing healing. I am re-birthing faith. I am re-birthing my relationship with God. I am re-birthing my intimate love for God. I am re-birthing passion and drive. I am re-birthing determination. I am re-birthing everything I lost that God has ordained for me to have in this season, and I am adding on every fruit of the spirit I need to tackle this new season.
So join me as I celebrate my 25th birthday and my re-birth.
Happy Birthday, Jae.