Overwhelmed, but victorious.
I did not write a blog last week because I have been so overwhelmed. As some of you may know, I work a full time job, I am in graduate school part-time, and I am currently searching for a new job because my job’s contract ends in June. And I am preparing to take my Alt. Teacher exam next week. On top of that, I am heavily involved with my church and personal obligations, so I basically have a lot going on. I love it and I do not take for granted all of the opportunities and blessings God has bestowed upon me. But sometimes, it is just too much.
I feel like I have been carrying everyone on my back. Every day I add a new worry, a new doubt, a new problem from a friend, a new task, new perspective, etc. It goes on and on. Every day I am adding on but I am not taking away. So I find myself in moments where I am just living life and going through the motions because I cannot suck up all the beauty in front of me because I am too busy thinking 10 steps ahead at all times. By all means - thinking ahead is a GREAT asset to have. I am a planner by nature, but sometimes I think too much ahead that I forget to enjoy the now. I begin looking at things I love as just another thing to check off my to-do list. I keep piling the weights of the world onto my back, but forget to release and take care of myself. When people ask how I am doing, I always say “I am managing” but in actuality - this is just a true feeling of being overwhelmed.
I know this may seem like a journal entry more-so than a “blog” you guys have been used to reading, but I just want to stress how important it is to take care of yourself. People whose hearts are as big as the world, give their last, and would take in all the problems on their back like Wonder Woman are some strong people! But like the old saying says, “ you cannot pour from an empty cup”. I found myself last week completely losing my mind when I did not realize it. I even went to a fun game night with my friends but my mind was moving so fast constantly stressing about the next thing, I found myself drifting away from the fun into a spaced-out place because of I was worrying. My dad preached a great sermon Sunday about flowing like a river and not like a lake. Last week, I could have sworn up and down that I was flowing like a river, but I was so busy and and overwhelmed that I allowed the pressure of life to keep me stagnated like a lake.
So, I admonish you and myself to release the pressure. Stress kills. Stress causes health afflictions - emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual. Having too much on your plate at one time can place you into overdrive and that is not always good. I understand if you are a person who cannot sit still and you enjoy staying busy (I’m the same way) - that is good! But take time to take care of yourself. Indulge in things that make you happy and keeps your mind at ease. Quiet time (for me, that looks like prayer and meditation), Netflix time, Shopping, and Baking are always moments where I can be in great serenity and zone into a place of comfort. Find your true “happy place” and let your mind release those weights because you are and will always be victorious.
I would like to end this with the Serenity Prayer:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. And wisdom to know the difference."