LET IT GO, SIS!
I’ve realized that 2018 has been a year of “Revelations” because God has been revealing a lot of things to me. And in the midst of all of my revelations, they all have one common denominator - letting go. Letting go has not been the message for just me, but for my friends, my family, my church, and for my students. We tend to hold on to so much that has hurt us. The old saying “I will forgive but I will never forget” can be a contradicting statement because you are telling God that you will accept forgiveness, but will hold on to bitterness, grudges, and anger. Mhmmm...let that sink in. Granted, some people truly do forgive, and could never forget what has happened to them because they want to use that as “caution” to be aware of those signs to avoid getting hurt or negatively affected by someone or something again. Never forgetting so you can be more aware in the future is different than never forgetting because you still haven’t let it go. Understand the difference. But know that there are some people who truly will hold on to what someone has done and said to them, and catch themselves slipping into bitterness. As I share one of my testimonies and tips, I pray you “Let It Go, Sis”.
I had a lot of friends in high school. I considered myself a social butterfly! Because I was in Color Guard, I gained a lot of “guard sisters” that I (at the time) considered real friends. A few of them were very messy, very manipulative, and down-right negative for me, but because I was naive and gave people the benefit of the doubt, I always befriended them and stuck by their side. When we all went to college, we somewhat went our separate ways (except for my three good friends I am still connected to from high school), and I remembered linking up with the guard sisters over breaks trying to rekindle a flame of friendship that needed to stay dead. Nevertheless - one of those friends started some mess between me and another friend. It got so bad to the point of me having to block her on all social medias and my phone because it was no longer tolerable. After that point, I vowed to never befriend her again. Every time I would hear her name, drive past her old job, or even be near her - I would allow a spirit of anger to overtake me because I “forgave, but never forgot” how she treated me.
Tip #1. Never allow anyone to change your mood and your emotions. Never give anyone that much power over your emotions. Once you realize that you hold the key to your emotions, it’ll be much easier to let go.
Back to the story, I caught myself re-sharing or re-hashing with people the story of what happened between us. Every time I would talk about, I would allow my emotions to relive that situation and become so mad all over again. I could be reminiscing on old pictures but lordy, do not let me see a picture because here I am going on a rant or a petty-slug day again.
Tip #2. When you are sharing a story from the past that had a negative effect on you, be careful who you share it with because some people will feed off of your story or even give you negative feedback to intensify your negative feelings. Also, never allow the opportunity of giving the enemy glory in any situation. If you are not talking about a negative experience to focus on the good that came out of it, then you need to just cut the conversation.
Eventually I had to stop myself from viewing her in such a negative situation and realized that God blocked that friendship. The moment I realized that, the moment I let it go. So yes, I forgave, but I forgot all the negative bitterness that was related to that person and that situation. Now I do not think twice about that person. Instead I wish nothing but blessings on her and her future! I can forgive, forget the negative connections, but not forget the lesson I learned from that situation so I can grow from it.
Tip #3. The mistakes of one person should not affect someone else. If Lil’ Johnny broke your heart, do not think all men are trash and dogs. Do not shut the one good man who wants to love you down because you making that man pay for the hurt of someone else. You need to “let it go, sis”, so you do not transfer the pain of someone else on someone who doesn’t deserve.
We all have those moments where we want to place the blame on others for the wrongdoings of someone when in actuality, we are causing ourselves more turmoil because we refuse to let it go. Even when someone attempts to tell us out of love, “hey sis, you need to just let that go boo”, we would get defensive and shy away from acknowledging how bad we are holding on because we are afraid to admit and let go.
Ultimately, I want you all to Let It Go. It is easier said than done, but my mom always tells me to “look at my glass as half-full instead of half-empty”.
So what your old friend talked about you like dirt, Let It Go, Sis! You are more than that. You used her as a stepping stone to success. God cleaned house and blessed you with a real circle of friends.
So what Lil’ Johnny did you dirty. Dr. Martin wants to love you and give you the world, so Let It Go, Sis! So he can love you like you deserve. Double for your trouble!
So what you got rejected from the job you really wanted, Let It Go, Sis! God has much bigger and better in store for you!
So what people said you would not be successful and would not be great in life, Let It Go, Sis! You show them and prove to yourself that you can do anything you put your mind to because you use the hate of others to fuel your drive towards success!
So what you were once depressed and gained a ton of weight, Let It Go, Sis! If you do not like something then fix it, but accept who you are and ultimately love yourself!
This is one of my favorite scriptures. Please read this and take it in! Remember, your pain, your hurt, and your fear matters. Never allow someone to diminish or mortify your emotions, but always know to give it to God, focus on your glass being half-full instead of half-empty, and just Let It Go, Sis!