Dear Self: r u ok?
Hey girl, I see you have been waking up in the middle of the night because you cannot sleep due to racing thoughts of worry, doubt, and fear. You wake up early in the morning to pray, read your bible or your devotional then you begin to cry tears of hopelessness because you sense your faith running out. Your body is tired. You are mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically drained. So you cry, tell yourself in the mirror that you have to stay strong and immediately the tears stop. You continue on with your day as if you are a superhero. You have responsibilities, so your feelings now have to hide into a deep box waiting to be unlocked the next time you’re alone. You carry so many burdens. Your family’s, your friend’s, the pressure of school, work, church, etc. You carry it with all the strength you can because you have to be the superhero - so you tell yourself. People ask if you are okay - you say you are blessed! People ask if you need help - you say you got it! People say you need a break - you tell them there is no time to be wasted. People tell you to hang on in there - you tell them thanks but ask yourself how. People suggest that you should get some rest - you ask yourself how. People tell you to focus on your health - you tell them you agree but cannot seem to find the motivation. So many people continue to add their commentary to the thoughts you already have clouding up; however, you keep pushing because you are suppose to be a superhero, right? Your day is over, your week has dragged on, the weekend is here. You have so many things planned, and your body is physically present - but your mind is elsewhere. Your mind is on every burden you are trying to carry...every problem..every headache...every fear...every doubt...your mind, your mind, your mind - it is gone. Then here comes Sunday morning. It is time to lay every weight aside on the altar to give God a true worship and true praise to fully here the word. *Ding* an email goes off, a text pops up, a notification appears - your mind is immediately out of his presence. The enemy peeps instantly in that second to disturb and distract your mind. The Pastor is preaching a word for you, then the enemy place defeating thoughts contradicting the word just to attack you. You fight the enemy with your praise because you are determined to start the week off with a different attitude and perspective. Then… your new week appears and it feels like a cycle but it is an ounce better than last week.
Girl, hang on! Your purpose is much brighter than what you think. This storm you are enduring is to build your strength and prepare you for the place God is taking you. You see, everyone cannot go to where is he taking you. Everything attached to you now may not make it to where he is taking you. So during this PREPARATION season, dive in the word; fight the enemy with the power embedded in you by Christ Jesus; surround yourself with positive energy. You are going to make it! Those long nights of studying, those long weekends of grading, those busy nights with your family and friends, those ministries you serve on ---- it will allllll pay off. Remember who you are and whose you are. You do not have to fight this alone. Find you some prayer partners and some strong people in your life to connect to, so they can carry your burdens when you cannot. So they can encourage you when you cannot encourage yourself. So they can stand in the gap for you spiritually and naturally when things get cloudy. You will be okay….you are okay.
Love you sis,
Sometimes you have to write letters to yourself. I challenge you to encourage yourself through a note to self. Read that letter every time you want to give up and throw in the towel. Read that letter every time you feel too tired to keep going. Within your letter, write down these seven steps. We are in this together.
1. Acknowledge your struggle.
2. Accept your struggle.
3. Combat your struggle.
4. Confide in someone about your struggle.
5. Pray over your struggle.
6. Speak life over your struggle.
7. Remind yourself of your purpose and that your purpose is greater than your struggle.
Be joyful in hopeful, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12 xo, JNT