Everyone I know says how they want to have people around them that keeps it “real” with them...but sometimes those “real people” will say or do things they may not like in the moment but will appreciate later in life. They are simply holding them accountable.
Accountability comes from the word accountable which means “required or expected to justify actions or decisions; responsible”.
You want to surround yourself around people who hold you accountable for your actions. We are human. We all fall short sometimes and may have moments when life is not the best. An accountability partner will support you with wisdom, love, and compassion through all of your good and bad times. They want to see you win! They want to help lift you up! People who are accountable are reliable. They have your best interest at heart. If they see you going down the rabbit hole, they will throw you a ladder to help bring you out before you go too deep. Having an accountability partner sounds good and all...but, can you stand the heat?
This past week in bible study, we discussed our next topic within our series “Blessing Blockers”. And that topic was pride. Lady Tucker mentioned how pride will make a person not want to take advice or hear what is right because they are prideful and reject advice. If you really want someone to hold you accountable, you have to be open to it. You have to build trust within that person knowing every intention behind their accountability is with the utmost respect! For example, I had a friend who was really going down the wrong road in college. I would encourage her, remind her of her goals, and just be there for her. But after a while, I had to become very blunt, bold, and honest with her by letting her know the real. At first, she was upset - but later she thanked me for even showing I cared. Now, I must admit, I did not approach her with wisdom at first, but I changed my approach and the response was different.
There are rules to this! You cannot just walk up to folks keeping it “100” in the wrong way!
Rule #1. Trust. You must have a trusting relationship with that person. You may not talk to that person everyday, but you have a great connection with that person to trust that their accountability is coming from a genuine place. It could be your parents, your partner, your friends, your teacher, your mentor, or even a person at your church.
Rule #2. Approach. If you are going to be accountable for someone, you have to have the right approach. Some people can be too harsh, too insensitive and lack wisdom when holding others accountable. Sometimes the person trying to be accountable can come off as condescending. So of course the person you are trying to hold accountable will not be receptive of anything you have to say if it is not done in the right way. So just check your approach and your emotions before addressing anyone.
Rule #3. Be bold. Trust me! Real people who desires real, accountable friends does not want someone who is timid or afraid to speak their mind. They do not want someone who is just going to watch them go down that wrong path without saying a word. Be bold, be wise and be loving with your accountability.
Rule #4. Be open. Be receptive of what your accountability partner has to say. Don’t take offense too easily. Swallow your pride, listen to what they have to say, and just vent your true feelings! 9/10 that accountable friend just wants to show you love and assure you that they are always there for you!
“You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.” - James 5:16, NIV
Those receiving the accountable person, remember: they are not there to hurt you but to help you! So don’t attack them because they are on your team!
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves…” - Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12, NIV
Remember that you do not have to run this race called life by yourself! God will send you accountable partners in your life to help you along the journey! Everyday we are faced with temptations and a host of emotions we have to deal with, and I truly believe God wants us (along with prayer, reading his word, and the Holy Spirit) to grab hold to those accountable people in our lives to make it through!