10 Reasons Why a Man Does Not Want to Commit or Be in a Relationship
So many women fall for men who may seem ideal to them for numerous of reasons. I know when I had my first boyfriend, I only dated him because he showed me attention, he was somewhat cute (like a 6 out of 10 lol), and the guy that I really wanted at the time wasn’t ready to commit. At first, I was like - nah I’m going to make him want me, but in actuality - you cannot make a grown man change or want you. A man will chase and get whatever he desires, no matter what obstacles he may face — he will yet pursue. But in my case, I realized that although I was in my very first relationship for the wrong reason, I realized why some men really choose not to commit.
Here are my top 10 reasons I personally feel is the cause:
1. He still wants to live the single life. He wants to still talk and flirt with other women and have the bachelor lifestyle. Some men want their cake and to eat it too, so they will hold on to you while living the single life.
2. He’s been hurt before and doesn’t want to be in a relationship until he’s sure. Believe it or not, men are just as scared as women. And some men love just as hard as women, so a man could have trust issues with women just like women may have trust issues with men.
3. He isn’t financially stable to provide the lifestyle he wants for his girlfriend. Some men want to shower their woman in love and gifts and because of pride - they can’t see past that. And honestly, if he isn’t your husband - he shouldn’t be providing like that anyways. Like if he wanted to marry you and his coins aren’t lined up then okay, I get it. And I think a boyfriend can shower their girlfriend in material things and non-materialistic things, but some men feel if they can’t give that to their woman then they do not need to be in a relationship.
4. He claims he is a different person in a relationship and isn’t ready to make that transition. I’ve heard this excuse before and honestly, I think it is totally bull because of course you will change or mold into a different person because you are now pleasing another person other than yourself. However, if a man isn’t ready to give his all with love, time, support, communication and honesty with his girlfriend then I rather he bag back then get in a relationship and do her dirty.
5. He has mommy or daddy issues that make him not know how to trust, love or commit to anything that provides stability and consistency aka a relationship. My bestfriend/boothang has a rough background with family issues that affects how he loves. Because of that, he use to fear commitment because of the possibility of being cut off, rejected, or left alone by the one he loves.
6. He feels like he would be tied down to rules and stipulations. He may also want to be free and independent with his life decisions. Some men are stubborn and will do what they want despite the effect their actions may have on other people. Also, some men do not like being out of control, so when you bark (like some people I know) to your man for every little thing he does, he may bag back because he feels like he is losing his sense of independence.
7. He points out every flaw a woman has because he’s too prideful and stubborn to admit his own. So his pride and stubbornness creates distance and discord which later causes a lack of desire for a relationship. Honey this is a good one because I used to know this guy who would blame you for everything from A to Z, but he did no wrong. And because I run my mouth and can be real slick, I would call him out on his wrong. That then turned into arguments because he did not know how to man up and admit his wrongs, and I did not know how to effectively communicate my blunt opinions. This can just be too much lol. Basically, if a man can’t own up to his own flaws but rather point at others - he may not be ready for a relationship.
8. He’s surrounded around the wrong environment that encourages him to go against the relationship in fear of what he would “lose” or “miss out on” if he were to get in one. If you are involved with a weak man that is easily influenced, then sometimes his single friends or his cheating friends may influence how he approaches you and your relationship. Get you a leader that does not allow the foolish ways of others to tamper his integrity and spirit.
9. He may not feel ready but wants to hold you onto a leash until he is ready to commit — simply because he knows you’re a “good one” and doesn’t want to lose a “good one”. Chileeeeeeeee….been there. Been there. Still there (sigh). He knows you are the one, he knows you are a good woman, but for some reason he cannot get it together in his mind to commit. It could be for numerous of reasons: pride, stubbornness, fear, other women, family issues, money issues, etc. All I have to say is - pray about it. Sometimes God places holds on things that you want desperately and you never understand why, but you wait anyways because you trust him. Sometimes, as a woman, you hold on to a man like that out of fear of being lonely. Sometimes you hold on because you’re blindly in love. This topic deserves a new blog, so I will end with - pray about it.
10. He’s scared. Point. Blank. Period. Like I said earlier, some men are just as afraid of relationships like women are.
Wheew, that was a mouth full. There are so many reasons but these are my top ten in my book of opinions. You will never know how a man feels about you and how a man feels about committing to you until you ask. It is between you, him, and Jesus if you decided to stick it through or turn the shoulder. Ultimately, remember to love God and love yourself first before you commit to anyone. That’s golden.
I’m very curious about other people’s opinions. What are your reasons why men do not want to commit?